Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Dear blog,

Spending time with my "insignificant other" and mistress earlier this afternoon and evening, I had the sudden urge to simply ask the both of them individually, "Are you happy?" Soon after I was conflicted with answering my own question when they had asked me. At the moment I answered, yes, I was happy. However, that question and answer continued to linger in the back of my mind throughout the entire evening, second guessing myself if I really was happy.

Who would have ever thought such a simple question like that could be so complex to not only answer, but also understand. I needed a time and place like this to simply diagnose my ambiguity. According to Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary, happiness means a state of well-being and contentment or a pleasurable or satisfying experience. There is a pretty straight forward definition of the word.

Well let's see. All I know is that I am at the peak of my adolescent career where I am truly finding who I really am and who I want to be. I face each and every waking hour with life changing struggles and overwhelming feelings of failure. I am tortured with the unpredictable possibilities of my future and troubled with the priorities I endure in the living present. I am surrounded by narcissistic, psychologically damaged, deranged, analytical, selfless, selfish, careless, vile, egocentric people who are nevertheless intellectual, one of a kind, affectionate, passionate, warm-hearted, inimitable, self-assertive, steadfast, soft hearted, talented, hard on, and strong. I am in a constant battle with my physical appearance and independent life. And, I spend each day with a big smile on my face, a positive attitude, and an eagerness to learning new things.

So, responding to my own uncertainty of self happiness, I now laugh and simply still answer YES I AM VERY HAPPY. Every imbalance and hardships in my life only make me happier and content because the trials that I face to overcome these obstacles are the ones that make my life worth living. And, having a purpose to live is what makes me happy.



  1. I LOVE THIS POST. I feel like you described so perfectly what everyone feels at one point in their life. I love you and am so glad you are happy, because you deserve it!!

  2. this is just great and very well explained.

  3. "Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever"- Mahatma Gandhi.
    Take every day as it is and just live, glad your happy =)